I am so tired, mentally and physically.

I do not know who am I…

I feel like I have lost everything in this month.

I lost my sleep…

I lost my concentration…

I lost my confidence…

I lost my love…

I lost my grand mother…

I lost my direction…

Everything has been taken away…

No matter how hard I tried, I have no talent…

I have nothing…

Everything is going wrong, wrong!

I really do not know what to do…

I am tired…

…to my 2 days weekend break

Finally, Module 6 will be starting next Sunday, no more 2 days break for me! Until end of June…

I’ve received several comments (or critics) for this courses. Some people told me to stop know, because “CFP does not help in finding a better job”. I know and do you think i care?

Hopefully some weekend activities will not be affected, just started not long and I am enjoying (at least I am).

Life after works in P.J. started to settle down, quite busy to attend dinner and thanks again to all my friends who paid for them, also, those who accompanied me for dinner. Please bear with me, as I need to adapt a new life style.

March turns out to be worse than February. Damn it! Its time to stop hoping for a better April, I will take whatever action to make it better.

‘Dylan-

什么是责任？

工作，可以产生责任。不论你的职业是什么，工作会带来许多责任。

答应他人可以产生责任，那就是承诺。

应该做到的事情。

相信的事情。

规则。喜欢与否，它还是会产生责任

你是个负责任的人吗？

Suddenly feel like wanted to write a short post, as there is nothing much I can do. Everything started to settle down after Chinese New Year, especially the long holidays mood.

Nowadays, reading has become very important in my life, however, there isn’t much appropriate reading environment in Seremban (any recommendations?).

Just met 2 old friends on Tuesday night and have ate some fried crabs with them, thought that others might have come late, but its Tuesday, not Friday, who would want to come out as there are still work the next day. By the way, thanks for the dinner/supper.

Well, I hope everything goes fine this week. As Monday is coming, I would like to remind myself, NOT to lose my focus.

‘Dylan

Hi all,

It seems like I am getting up earlier these days, being tired during work is just inevitable.  During secondary school, always complain about waking up early, but now I believe it is much better, at least can take a nap at class, but sleeping equal to warning letter. Whatever… works still need to be done, that is what bosses concerns. It was a more peaceful working environment for me, compared to the one in Masjid Jamek and at the same time it was more boring.

I grew up as a person who is so serious about punctuality, being late is just intolerable, but I never blame anyone who is late. Therefore, I always reached my office very early, on the contrary, I do not stay back… I have something more important to do. Works is just part of our life; I am going to enjoy more.

I had lots of plan ahead of me for sure.

I managed to pass 5 modules for CFP, all the hard work, the dedication I put into it is well worth, a successful life tastes amazing only if it is the result of hard work.

Thank you all for all consolation and support.

Dylan

Helloy everyone,

Thought of getting up early in the morning but totally cannot hear the alarm, luckily I apply for annual leave today, or else I will be late.

Anyway, I manage to settle some issues today; at least what I plan to do during today is done. Just do not like the feeling that something is not done, its just like a trail dog, wherever you go, it follow you.

Lion dance, hmm… When is the last time I saw a Lion dance, 3 years? 5 years? Just so happen that opposite of my house got lion dance today, or else, I think the time that without lion dance could go more than that. Even though I start working at 3rd day (Chu San) of CNY, but I have to say, this CNY was not that bad.

Regardless which day you start work, all the best! 开工大吉!

Dylan

Hello my friends,

I will be starting a new blog at Live Journal, this blog will not be discontinue, everything about my personal life will be sharing in here.

Personal Finance
http://dylan-lim.livejournal.com

Sometime it is good to find someone that can give encouragements to you.
Rafael Nadal - YOU REALLY INSPIRED ME!

有人说，不要往后看，但是最近的我，且一直看回我以前所写的东西。

下面这黑色的每一句，是我在开工前４天写的。
是我所写的，标题是 － ＂开工了！感恩！＂

＂等了一个多月，终于开始做工了。面试了几间公司，大大小小的，虽然有些公司没有回复(原因就是他们不要我)，我也明白以那些大公司的日常作业，哪里有时间回复一些他们认为不需要的人呢？但是这且让我有机会重新思考，重新定位，了解了大公司未必所有的东西都是最好。＂

现在，我也需重新思考，重新定位。
有个中年人对我说，你要成功，就把你的心集中于你想要的东西。
但是，要做到这一点，其实是很困难。
因为往往我们都把心转注在自己不想要的东西。
他打个比方说。。。

＂我必需把这些东西做完，不然又必须加班＂
这个时候你会把工作做得好吗？你只想完成，而没有做到最好。
然而，一个思想正面的人，会专心得把工作完成，而不会去考虑到底要不要加班。
对我来说，加班是最没有意义的。 "Always do more during working hours, not during O.T."
而且专心的话，我可以肯定，你不需要加班。

＂有些时候，这些所谓的大公司，也做不到诚心如意。我绝对不是“吃不到葡萄说葡萄酸”，只是想了又想，有一定必要去大公司工作吗？大公司的确好处很多，薪水也多，自然的，人人都想要去做！对吗？买东西也是一样，如果名牌价格和普通货物价格差不远，选名牌才是明智的吧？＂

我想要的，不是＂大＂也不是＂小＂。我要的是。。。
一位师父，一位什么都能教我的师父。
一间团结的公司。
一群互相鼓励，互相帮助的同事，更重要的是，不分种族！

我讨厌，为什么华人就要和华人一起吃饭？
我讨厌，利用种族课题的政客！他们是王八蛋！
我讨厌，自私的同事！
我讨厌，推卸责任的前辈！
我讨厌，用权利打压下属的上司！他们也是王八乌龟！

我喜欢，和友族吃饭。
我喜欢，为大家着想的朋友。
我喜欢，我的工作。
我喜欢，说真的。。。一直在改变的工作。

＂他们没请我，对我来说，我没什么关系的，我也没生气，虽然我口口声声说他们会后悔，但也是闹着玩的啦。才没那么小器，而且我可能我真的不适合他们。但是，我真的不想再等了，所以我选择了一间规模不大的公司，因为我觉得他们人不错，应该可以学到东西。与其去爬‘楼梯’，不如一起建‘楼梯’。不明白的人，可以问我这是什么意思。＂

好一句＂与其去爬‘楼梯’，不如一起建‘楼梯’＂
但是，我公司似乎是一间拒绝向前行的公司。
高层让我感觉到。。。＂只要足够就好了＂
他们行事保守，没有冒险精神。
走了一个员工，也不请多一个，因为没有必要。你们分一分他／她的工作就好了。
做事不够透明。这是他们的公司，我管不了这么多。
我对得起自己，也觉得我是把我的最好给公司，受不受由他们决定。

＂不知道为什么，想到工作就是感到非常的期待，虽然开工过后我的观点可能会改变，这个以后才打算。。。呵呵。但是在此我必须感谢我爸爸，如果不是他坚持不要我贷款念书，这份工的薪水真的不够我用。而且妈妈还要求他帮我给房租，(虽然我只要求他们给一半)，但是妈妈已经告诉他了，他的反应就是“笑笑”而已。哇哈哈~这使得我的生活更加轻松。(感觉有点败家呢，反省反省。。。)我那么乖，不帮我，帮谁叻？哈哈！歹势！这是有原因的，因为我重来都不花他多余的钱，尤其是中学的时候，常常在家里，很少去跟他掏钱买东西，所以长大了，要买什么，我都会先跟他谈谈，自然而然，他就越帮越多。所以奉劝大家，不要用爸爸那么多钱，不然以后有急事想掏的时候，难度高很多！＂

不工作，真的没什么事请是可以做的。
虽然对公司期待已减少了很多，但是，对工作的热诚没有减少。
只要学到东西，我就很满意了！

我讨厌用＂父母＂来称呼我的爸爸妈妈，感觉没那么亲切
对他们的爱，我还是觉得行行动／行为是最重要的。
朋友问我为什么每个周末都回家？
回家不需要原因，对爸爸妈妈做任何事情，都不需要原因。
只要他们开心就好，因为他们常对我说，＂只要你开心，我们辛苦一点又有什么关系？＂

现在还处于＂迟来的叛逆期＂的朋友们，希望你们重新思考一下。
你们会不会太过自私了一点？
我不庆祝生日，因为我出世那一天我妈妈在受苦。
我不庆祝父亲节／母亲节，他们应得的不是３６５天才那么一天的孝顺，而是每一天，每一分，每一秒的孝顺。

＂虽然生活上应该没有什么问题，但是为了预防我会过于懒惰，所以不打算把新家弄得太舒服，不然就不会每天去拼了，永远都留在那个所谓的＂Comfort Zone＂。
无论如何，努力努力努力努力努力，这是我唯一能做的东西。虽然不是每次付出都会得到回报，但是终有一天，会得到我要得结果，就好像爸爸对我这样。呵呵＂

就像我说写的，我能做的就是＂无论如何，努力努力努力努力努力，这是我唯一能做的东西。虽然不是每次付出都会得到回报，但是终有一天，会得到我要得结果＂

我还没有放弃。
我为活而生，不是为生而活。
我的工作＝我的生活
我很平衡。
我往后看，也为了确定，我没有遗漏或忘记了一些东西。

A review for the blog (in RED colour) that i written at June 23, 2007. All comments will be in the colour of BLUE.

6月19日(星期二)，这一天，我开始上班了，虽然父亲要我继续读下去，但是我明白现在最想要的是什么，博士学位是我的一个愿望，所以硕士是肯定会去读的。

Alright… I hasn’t change my ultimate goal, there are 2 questions I wanna ask myself.

1. Am I going in the right direction? YES

2. Am I progressing to slow? I don’t really think I am slow, fast doesn’t mean good. I gotta learn to be more patient =).

为什么我会在星期二才开工，那是因为之前吉隆坡水灾，使得我的公司电力供应中断了大概一个礼拜，如果星期一上工，也没有人得空指导我。说起来，很久没有在6点起身，没办法住得这么远，只好早点起身驾车去Serdang(KTM)然后跑去KL Central换LRT，原来是那么多人得，真的挤得很辛苦。。。后来我想起来了，Bdr Tasik Selatan也可以到Masjid Jamek，换了这条线后，果然不用挤得那么辛苦，而且快一点。

It is a disaster to stay in Sg.Long and work in KL, KTM is simply the worst transportation in Malaysia. I was wondering, with so much of highly educated people in Malaysia, why can’t they learn to queue up? Squeezing like this is the only train, that’s terrible, horrible and miserable.

I heard there are buses travel daily from Sg.Long to KL (Pudu Station), but, this information comes only i moved to PJ SS2. However, I didn’t feel regret about my decision. Even though the living expenses (PJ) is higher than Sg.Long, but not much, and, I believe PJ is much conveniet than Sg.Long, I can take Putra LRT to work. At least people who take LRT know how to queue up…

Oh well, if you wanna know what can be better in staying in SS2, then I would tell you, I want a house at there =P.

运气不错，第一天上班没有迟到，去到公司也不知道可以坐什么，等了10分钟，Manager终于把我介绍了给一个叫做Kent的员工，他就是我的指导员。他教会我做Cash Flow(和以前做的完全不同)，Investment Restriction，Daily Management and Trustee Fees，Unit in Circulation。。。还有很多，刚开始的时候的确很辛苦，但是这些东西到了第三天，我很快就做完，不然我会追不上进度，还有很多还没有学会。所以呢，下个礼拜我要留下来，尽可能把那些没有做好得很快店做完。

Actually I plan to talk about "Ken" but if i started this topic, it could be another new blog.

No matter how, I will listen to Steven advises, but, even though I don’t really 100% agree, but still I appreciate your advise in this matter. See how it goes =)

It changed a lot, i mean, my job scope. Funds that I incharged is no longer exist, more precisely, All KL City Funds is converted into Alliance, Now I left 1 fund with me only, Alliance Dana Alif. Good or bad I can’t tell, but, it performance definately become better after the conversion, is it because of Management? You decide.

I changed my perception, I will not stay after 5.30PM, NEVER! It’s my life after that, I am getting paid for Over Time, So, stop working like a donkey. I rather put my effort into something meaningful.

我所管理的基金叫做KLCity Saphire，Ruby，Emerald，Dana Imbang和SmallCap Fund。没听过吧？我也是…每天必须负责百万以上的Transaction，想到都怕。一点点错误，对方就会打电话来问，不过错误是难免的啦，幸好对方也明白，有时候他们也会出错，大家只是互相帮忙而已。工作情况就是这样，每天都在忙一样的东西，好充实。

I really don’t like to make mistakes, everything. 100% is it possible? You may say "yes" or "no". It all depends… If I can’t make it 100%, Hopefully I can make it 95% with 5% error.

I have to admit, I am getting bored of my job. Because it’s not busy enough. It’s torturing me to just sit in front the PC and key-in all the data. I am having fucking enough data entry. I like to walk around in the office, my butt just can’t sit on the chair for too long…

I don’t want data entry, I want to learn more, if you feel being threaten just because I am learning more, thats mean you are remaining and I am moving forward.

同一天报到的新人有3个，大家都对我们很好，还带我们吃好东西，这个时候我才明白KL是藏龙卧虎，许多老店煮的东西还比Sg.long的好吃。虽然刚认识，大家都有说有笑的，公司虽然规模不大，使得大家的感情更好，而且也没有所谓的竞争，政治，像一个大家庭！说真的，运气真好，没有选错公司，薪水不高，但是非常开心。

3 of the newbies (included me) are still there. I have been told that, I definately the 1st to resign. I am not going to say "No", but, "Yes" wont be that soon either.

There is politic in here. Not my business. I can play with you, if you want to =) but ofcourse, it’s wasting my energy, I rather focus on my job/performance. Steven, I will endure =)

No matter how high is your salaries, if you can’t control your expenses, it’s pointless to show off your salaries. Don’t try to control your expenses, control your behaviour.

在这里必须谢谢Jas大姐的支持，你的Comment让我感到至少有人跟我感同身受。还有兔子啊，虽不要家里美美的？有钱的话，我的家一定美美的，只是现在我属于奋斗年龄，不拼一点，以后那里有美美的家？而且如果回家看到一张床而已，我会更加拚命，那以后的家肯定更美！

Have nothing to comment on my room, it’s just a place for me to sleep, It’s not my home.

Okay… What i want now is

1. Focus and finish my CFP!

2. Endure, be patient, and, learn more! (Stop hating him)

3. Not just found out the mistake, Learn from it!

4. Don’t work like a Donkey!

5. When I am playing, I must put all my effort into playing! Stop thinking about my jobs!

6. Control my behaviour!

Shall I move on or remain at where I am? I always know the answer for this self-asking question… Move on, move on, and move on. I really feel bored about what I am doing recently, Why was it? There’s no point to tell why, since, i am getting fed up of it. 9 months. Not even a year. I really needed to change. Security Analysis. I am coming.